Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The Gown and The Invitation List
It’s now mid June. First, The Invitation List: assembled by TBTB, with TGTB giving family and friend addresses, it soon reaches over 100; as TBTB sees a wedding of about 65 people, this allows for a reasonable rejection rate. We think. But then there’s a snag: TBTB intends to design and produce the invitations. On the face of it, that’s doable. She not only has the computer skills needed to physically produce invitations, RSVP cards, and whatever else, she also earned a B.F.A. in graphic design at the Columbus College of Art and Design, which led her into a career in web page design before the Navy beckoned.
But in reality, TBTB’s producing the invitations is problematic. Her work days are pretty full, and her ship is heading off to the North Sea and Finland. And time marches on. Finally, after various relatives have inquired whether the wedding is still on, as they’ve not heard anything formal, we send an email: you must either get the invitations done now, or do something else. I do a backward timeline: if wedding is September 10th, then people need to have decided whether they’re coming or not by at least August 10th, in order to book flights, make arrangements, reserve hotels, etc. If they need to decide by August 10th, the invitations have to reach them by July 20th. That means they need to be mailed by July 15th. Which means we need to have completed invitations in order to assemble them by July 13th. Which means MOTB, who’s going to address the envelopes, needs to have the envelopes by July 8th. Which means you need to mail the envelopes by July 1st, unless you overnight them. And all of this is too late unless people have some formal advance notice, and don’t make plans for early September -- or, if they have children, need to start making arrangements for travel now.
TBTB gets the message. She sends “Save the Date” postcards immediately from Scotland, then hits all the deadlines for the invitations.
Now, The Gown. TBTB wants to make her gown. Apart from the fact that, if her schedule makes doing the invitations difficult, constructing a wedding gown (for a young woman who has never built a complete garment in her life, as far as I know, although she has knit several monumental and quite gorgeous scarves) is flatly impossible. Luckily (at least for TBTB, if not for FOTB) MOTB wants to make The Gown, as her mother did for her. I’m a bit skeptical at this; MOTB’s mother was a professional draper and seamstress at various points, and taught dressmaking and sewing in the New York Public Schools after having been head draper at Bergdorff Goodman’s in New York, then spending a couple of decades in her husband’s butcher store. MOTB sews occasionally. But nothing on the scale of A Wedding Gown.
TBTB thinks this a marvelous idea. And she has an idea! She saw a gown she thought was gorgeous on a tv scifi show, “Firefly.” She thoughtfully provides a DVD, so MO
TB can study the gown. Here it is. It’s black and red, hardly bride colors--and the actress’s hair obscures several key points: is the red overskirt part of a jacket with sleeves, or are the sleeves and apparent jacket part of the bodice? Is the neckline square or rounded? Is the actress’s bosom augmented or pushed up? Etc. We watch the requisite episode of “Firefly” again. And again. And pause it. And photograph it. And try to figure out the architecture of the gown, and of the body under it, to see how it needs to be adjusted to the no-quite-so-Hollywood-enhanced body of TBTB. MOTB makes sketches. TBTB corrects/amends them, when email can reach her in the North Sea. A look is agreed upon. White crepe-backed satin will be the dress, an elaborate white lace will be the overdress and jacket with long sleeves. JoAnn Fabric becomes a regular stop on shopping trips: what sort of interface? What thread? How to bind the edges of the lace?
We all are about to learn a great deal about linings, interfaces, FrayStop, the limits of machine stiches, and other unknown topics. The learning process will not be one of unmitigated delight at learning new things.
But in reality, TBTB’s producing the invitations is problematic. Her work days are pretty full, and her ship is heading off to the North Sea and Finland. And time marches on. Finally, after various relatives have inquired whether the wedding is still on, as they’ve not heard anything formal, we send an email: you must either get the invitations done now, or do something else. I do a backward timeline: if wedding is September 10th, then people need to have decided whether they’re coming or not by at least August 10th, in order to book flights, make arrangements, reserve hotels, etc. If they need to decide by August 10th, the invitations have to reach them by July 20th. That means they need to be mailed by July 15th. Which means we need to have completed invitations in order to assemble them by July 13th. Which means MOTB, who’s going to address the envelopes, needs to have the envelopes by July 8th. Which means you need to mail the envelopes by July 1st, unless you overnight them. And all of this is too late unless people have some formal advance notice, and don’t make plans for early September -- or, if they have children, need to start making arrangements for travel now.
TBTB gets the message. She sends “Save the Date” postcards immediately from Scotland, then hits all the deadlines for the invitations.
Now, The Gown. TBTB wants to make her gown. Apart from the fact that, if her schedule makes doing the invitations difficult, constructing a wedding gown (for a young woman who has never built a complete garment in her life, as far as I know, although she has knit several monumental and quite gorgeous scarves) is flatly impossible. Luckily (at least for TBTB, if not for FOTB) MOTB wants to make The Gown, as her mother did for her. I’m a bit skeptical at this; MOTB’s mother was a professional draper and seamstress at various points, and taught dressmaking and sewing in the New York Public Schools after having been head draper at Bergdorff Goodman’s in New York, then spending a couple of decades in her husband’s butcher store. MOTB sews occasionally. But nothing on the scale of A Wedding Gown.
TBTB thinks this a marvelous idea. And she has an idea! She saw a gown she thought was gorgeous on a tv scifi show, “Firefly.” She thoughtfully provides a DVD, so MO
TB can study the gown. Here it is. It’s black and red, hardly bride colors--and the actress’s hair obscures several key points: is the red overskirt part of a jacket with sleeves, or are the sleeves and apparent jacket part of the bodice? Is the neckline square or rounded? Is the actress’s bosom augmented or pushed up? Etc. We watch the requisite episode of “Firefly” again. And again. And pause it. And photograph it. And try to figure out the architecture of the gown, and of the body under it, to see how it needs to be adjusted to the no-quite-so-Hollywood-enhanced body of TBTB. MOTB makes sketches. TBTB corrects/amends them, when email can reach her in the North Sea. A look is agreed upon. White crepe-backed satin will be the dress, an elaborate white lace will be the overdress and jacket with long sleeves. JoAnn Fabric becomes a regular stop on shopping trips: what sort of interface? What thread? How to bind the edges of the lace?We all are about to learn a great deal about linings, interfaces, FrayStop, the limits of machine stiches, and other unknown topics. The learning process will not be one of unmitigated delight at learning new things.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Table settings
Well, so getting the site (that's the courtyard above) and caterer was fairly easy. Flowers even easier; MOTB has worked with Mimosa Florists before, so they're set. TBTB wants to use ivy leaves, and since we've tons of ivy growing in the ravine that is our backyard, that part will be easy. Not so sure about getting it to the florist five days ahead for "hardening," however--assume that means I'll be doing a lot of clipping of ivy, etc. But now we have to deal with the Other Stuff: linens, napkins, tables, chairs--all that stuff. Cristin at Dragonfly says she can take care of all that. But we feel confident we can make choices, select what we want, and so forth. So POTB set off for Triple A rental, which we hear from various sources is the best place in town.
Well, they've got A LOT OF STUFF. The show room is filled with tables, punch bowls, large metal stands to hold odd objects, candelabra, all manner of things. We're sent back to a large warehouse space where a single harried young woman gives us choices to make, clearly happy to have a break from inventorying glasses in trays. The decisions are unending: what color china? Gold band on rim or not? And given that they can't guarantee that the china won't be worn, that's a serious choice. What color linens? What kinds of glassware? What size tables? How many tables? Some parameters: gallery space, where reception will take place, is large, given that we're looking at about 60 guests. And it's to be a buffet, so we don't want sit down/large tables. It appears what we want are cabaret tables (or "cabs" for short--I'm learning a new lingo here). Fine. Cabs it is. And chairs. We can have simple folding chairs in white or black. Or very expensive little gold chairs. I push for plain white chairs. But am overruled by MTOB--the gold chairs it will be! I argue back. Finally we compromise: we'll have gold chairs for the wedding party, plain white chairs for everybody else. Serpentine tables (they curve) (and are known as 'serps') are chosen for food service. Gold rimmed plates are eventually chosen by TBTB after much emailing of photos back and forth. So there must be gold toned forks to match. There are! What a surprise!
Now a major crisis. Since TBTB has chosen ivory and ivy as The Colors, we must have ivory linens--tablecloths on the Cabs, skirts on the Serps, napkins, in ivory. But The Wedding Date is also a Big Day for Texas and Ohio State fans, as Neva, our 'consultant' informs us while filling out our order. And the ivory linens are bespoke. Triple A regrets, but there we are. Had we been more timely (and, I should have said earlier, I'm doing much of this well after the events: the Linen Crisis happened in late May)--- What to do? Neva has a thought: "T-Riffic Table Linens might have some!" She gives us directions. We rush to T-Riffic. It's hard to find. In an industrial (or post-industrial) part of town, it's in a commercial row on a minor side street that runs parallel to a major street, and is virtually invisible. Part of the access road is unpaved.
Once inside, T-Riffic is great fun. Where Triple A was warehouse style, T-Riffic is modified bordello in look. Everything is padded, plush, draped--walls, tables, even the chairs have fabric draped and tied over them. A large wedding cake sits on one table. A rack of available linen patters--some quite astounding: I should have expected stars and stripes these days, and sports-themed ones, certainly. But still startling to see them, and dizzying to image a banquet hall tricked out in them.
Theresa, the affable and helpful owner, takes our order. She has ivory linen! She'll deliver! She's our newest best friend!
Meanwhile, we've made contact with TGTB's family in Iowa. His father has only recently passed away, but the family seems to have drawn together. POTG were divorced many years ago, so TGTB has both a mother and step mother, who now live together, after his father's death; so now we have MOTG and SMOTG joining the circle. After much emailing back and forth, it emerges that both SMOTG and MOTG are dedicated practical jokers. That might make the rehearsal dinner interesting--
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The Caterer
So we now have to hire a caterer. The problem: POTB are vegetarians; TBTB and TGTB are not. So we huddle, consult, weigh options, and so forth. Do we (POTB) hire a caterer who will serve meat? Do we get a caterer whose idea of vegetarian options is a tray of celery stalks and carrot sticks (perhaps with slices of cucumber if they're creative)? In short, do we put up with the sort of food we normally have to put up with at such events (to which we often go knowing that we'll have to eat beforehand, or afterwards), or go another route? So we decide to arrange for food we'll enjoy--after all, we're paying for it! Call us selfish; we'll warn the determined carnivores that they should stock up at Wendy's or White Castle (both based in Columbus, by the way) on the way to the wedding. Have two Sausage Egg McMuffins that morning if you must.
Luckily, we have a choice of caterers. Del Sroufe has a private chef business, makes great bread and cakes (he did a spectacular cake with orchids for a surprise birthday party for MOTB several years ago); he's at http://www.delsbread.com/Home.html. But Del's home cooking business has taken off, and he's stopped doing catering of the buffet sort. Dragonfly Neo-v Cuisine--all vegan, virtually all local--is a nationally-recognized place whose chef, Magdiale Wolmark, just won a platinum carrot award for vegan cooking; more about Magdiale and Cristin's joint at http://www.dragonflyneov.com/ -- and we've been eating there since they opened five years ago, and held another suprise birthday party for MOTB there for forty-five folks. Then there's Whole World Restaurant, Columbus' oldest vegetarian restaurant, when Dan and Kim Otanicar have been serving up great soups and entrees (not to mention whole wheat crust pizza) for over twenty five years. Dan and Kim also do a burgeoning business at festivals--Kim's out virtually every weekend early spring through fall. So we go with Dragonfly.
First, however, a minor hitch: the Cultural Arts Center can only use approved caterers. And Dragonfly's not on the list. Neither are Del nor Whole World. In fact, there's no vegetarian caterer on the list. Luckily, the CAC administrator, Jennifer Johnson, is eager to cooperate. "Since we have no vegetarian caterers," she muses, "perhaps now's the time to get some!" So after we provide assurance that Dragonfly is bonded, they get approved. Now: what to serve? We get a very long and complicated catering menu from Cristin, which takes forever to download on our slow machine, forward it to TBTB who's off the coast of Scotland at this point, and apparently not ready to deal with it. It is pretty hard to figure out what's being offered, and even harder to figure out how it tastes if you don't eat there regularly and know the wonderful things Magdiale does with vegetables, organic grains, smoked tofu, seitan, and so forth.
Luckily, TBTB is in town briefly in June. So she gets to try out various things on the catering menu--and after a great deal of discussion, tastings, and occasional misunderstanding, this is the menu that results:
wedding lunch buffet
japanese griddle cakes
miso vegetable
autumn phyllo rolls
star anise ponzu
“best vegetable platter in town ”
smoked tofu,grilled portabella, roasted early autumn squashes, sticky rice cakes
herbal iced tea (unsweetened)
There's still the question of the cake, how it gets displayed, the flowers, and, most dread of all, the Linens and Tables.
Luckily, we have a choice of caterers. Del Sroufe has a private chef business, makes great bread and cakes (he did a spectacular cake with orchids for a surprise birthday party for MOTB several years ago); he's at http://www.delsbread.com/Home.html. But Del's home cooking business has taken off, and he's stopped doing catering of the buffet sort. Dragonfly Neo-v Cuisine--all vegan, virtually all local--is a nationally-recognized place whose chef, Magdiale Wolmark, just won a platinum carrot award for vegan cooking; more about Magdiale and Cristin's joint at http://www.dragonflyneov.com/ -- and we've been eating there since they opened five years ago, and held another suprise birthday party for MOTB there for forty-five folks. Then there's Whole World Restaurant, Columbus' oldest vegetarian restaurant, when Dan and Kim Otanicar have been serving up great soups and entrees (not to mention whole wheat crust pizza) for over twenty five years. Dan and Kim also do a burgeoning business at festivals--Kim's out virtually every weekend early spring through fall. So we go with Dragonfly.
First, however, a minor hitch: the Cultural Arts Center can only use approved caterers. And Dragonfly's not on the list. Neither are Del nor Whole World. In fact, there's no vegetarian caterer on the list. Luckily, the CAC administrator, Jennifer Johnson, is eager to cooperate. "Since we have no vegetarian caterers," she muses, "perhaps now's the time to get some!" So after we provide assurance that Dragonfly is bonded, they get approved. Now: what to serve? We get a very long and complicated catering menu from Cristin, which takes forever to download on our slow machine, forward it to TBTB who's off the coast of Scotland at this point, and apparently not ready to deal with it. It is pretty hard to figure out what's being offered, and even harder to figure out how it tastes if you don't eat there regularly and know the wonderful things Magdiale does with vegetables, organic grains, smoked tofu, seitan, and so forth.
Luckily, TBTB is in town briefly in June. So she gets to try out various things on the catering menu--and after a great deal of discussion, tastings, and occasional misunderstanding, this is the menu that results:
wedding lunch buffet
japanese griddle cakes
miso vegetable
autumn phyllo rolls
star anise ponzu
“best vegetable platter in town ”
smoked tofu,grilled portabella, roasted early autumn squashes, sticky rice cakes
herbal iced tea (unsweetened)
There's still the question of the cake, how it gets displayed, the flowers, and, most dread of all, the Linens and Tables.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The Site
Next came the choice of The Site. As TGTB is a fundamentalist Christian, TBTB generally a pagan practicing re-created ancient Egyptian rites, and The Parents of The Bride were practicing Roman Catholics until the last election -- but that's another story -- this posed certain problems. The generally radical RC center where TPTB had worshipped for over twenty years was no longer available (and if it were, would have posed problems with both TGTB and TBTB, let alone with figuring out who would perform the ceremony). So TPTB scoped out possibilities: Columbus has a number of park settings: The Park of Roses, originally established by the National Rose Society, with sample bushes of every possible rose--with several highly popular places for weddings http://recparks.columbus.gov/rentals/Whetstone.asp; the Deaf School Park, on the grounds of the Ohio State School for the Deaf -- at least the grounds of the nineteenth century school, which burned down years ago. The park now has a topiary recreation of Georges Seurat's Un dimanche après-midi à l'Ile de la Grande Jatte http://recparks.columbus.gov/rentals/Topiary_Gardens.asp which is great fun--and a popular setting for weddings. But the site finally chosen: The Cultural Arts Center (http://www.culturalartscenteronline.org/html/about.asp) It's a Civil War era Armory, converted in the late 70s into an arts center. The figurehead from the U.S.S. Ohio decorates an exterior wall, while the ship's bell from the U.S.S. Columbus hangs in the courtyard. So the site is chosen. Now the problem is: securing the site. Columbus Recreation and Parks is in transition, dealing with budget cuts, staff reductions, and the like. So getting responses is difficult. But finally, it's done. The site is set. Now, onward.
Next: the invitation list/the flowers/the caterer
Next: the invitation list/the flowers/the caterer
